Um, it's no secret that I'm, like, obsessed with dogs. They are so much better than people, really.
A LIST OF WAYS IN WHICH DOGS ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN PEOPLE, REALLY:
1. They are always awesome.
2. They are smart as fuck.
3. Duh, they're cute.
4. They are incapable of deceit! Except for when my dog, Mo-Dog, occasionally lies to me by running over to her food dish and clanging it on the ground, then running over to me and giving me sad eyes, all like, "Hey, jerk -- you forgot to feed me and I don't have thumbs and am very low to the ground, so I can't feed myself..." and then I'm like, "Oh, Mo-Dog! I am so sorry! I am a j-...hey...wait a minute...I totally fed you already, I remember now, you little asshole." So, I guess, they are incapable of deceit unless it involves food, in which case they are very capable of deceit, but then see reason 2 on this list, and it's all okay again.
5. They COMMUTE and run rackets to steal food.
So, this company Givebones emailed me and they are like Toms but for dogs. Not, like, if you buy a dog a child in need gets a dog. Not like that. Like, if you buy a dog collar, they use a portion of the profits to get THREE dogs out of kill shelters and into no-kill shelters. One collar, three dogs saved. BOOM.
I thought that was worth sharing with y'all, because even if one of you buys a freakin' dog collar, I helped three dogs just by posting this, right? Right.
I dunno, man. I just really like dogs.